Ian WhiteChick-Talk Entry 3: Women are Terrible Matchmakers
December 13th 2010 23:53
Category: No Category
Dating is hard for the average guy. You're not all that charming, or maybe you are but you aren't that good looking, or you don't have much money, so already your insecurity has dramatically lowered your chances of procreating. Then women can be seen as complex, unattainable, aliens, constantly making you rethink your orientation as you navigate the minefields of conversation. You can't help but wish for a magic pill, an easy button, or a wealthy uncle to die off. So when you can get help or advice from a woman, you think you hit the jackpot. You figure it'd be like touring France with a frenchmen. Well sorry monsieur, but that isn't the case. I hate to break it to you, but women can be downright terrible at helping you romantically, though they'll at least try. So whether it's describing what a girl likes in a guy or by setting you up on a blind date with a friend, DO NOT, take a woman's romantic advice unless you possess some clue of what you're doing and you're positive she is adequate based on past results. Let me break down this I'm sure surprising revelation.
Just Say No To Bind Dates
The problem here is that women tend to have a blind/deaf spot for their friends. They have a hard time admitting their flaws to outsiders as well as to themselves. This prevents you from knowing you're about to subject yourself to an awkward dinner where you may be looking to end your life (or hers) with a salad fork by the end. You can avoid these situations by being aware of the langauge women use when referring to one of the friends she is offering to fix you up with.
Nice=Overweight
Free spirit=Clinically insane, potentially on drugs
Opinionated=Loud and obnoxious
Smart=Boring
Cute=In the dark
Independent=Lonely
Bubbly=Stupid
Mature=Old
Now I'm not saying getting with a girl's friends is a terrible thing, it's actually far more practical than paying 20 dollar covers attempting to generate a relationship out of thin air in a venue full of the drunk, horny, and insecure. The best method is to go out with a girl and her friends just for fun. That way you can actually see all her friends and choose who you'd like to pursue. Then you can enlist the help of the girl because wingwomen beat wingmen 9 times out of 10.
Women Can't Tell You What Women Want
You should almost NEVER ask a woman what women look for in a man and expect something good to come of it. The problem is that all women are different and thus like different things. For instance some women say they only date tall guys. However there is a wrinkle here. They'll still date a short guy. Confused? The truth is we have no control over who we end up liking. Asking a woman for advice will not get you the blanket gameplan for seduction you desperately seek. Plus many will give you useless advice like be "nice" or give her flowers and all these other romantic clichés. But then by trying that you'll book yourself a one way ticket to the friend zone. Because those things are what a woman wants in a relationship, not in a guy thats picking her up, because you'll be interpreted as a wimp. The good news though is that there are universal qualities women fall for:
Confidence
Humor
Wealth
Intelligence
Social Skills
Duh, yes, but they're actually achievable if you break them down and take on those qualities. For example, wealth doesn't mean you're rich, though it helps. Wealth just means you seem rich. You dress well, you're confident, you aren't cheap, you don't burst into tears when checking you're account balance, etc. However an ambitious career to a non golddigger is the same as actually having money. Intelligence means you're articulate and can show her new things, not that you're pretentious and constantly talking about Russian literature. Unless she's into that. Confidence is massively vague. Something that I can't do justice with a few lines, so I'll dedicate next week's chick-talk to the topic of confidence. I hope I've helped make the trials of the fairer sex a bit easier.
Just Say No To Bind Dates
The problem here is that women tend to have a blind/deaf spot for their friends. They have a hard time admitting their flaws to outsiders as well as to themselves. This prevents you from knowing you're about to subject yourself to an awkward dinner where you may be looking to end your life (or hers) with a salad fork by the end. You can avoid these situations by being aware of the langauge women use when referring to one of the friends she is offering to fix you up with.
Nice=Overweight
Free spirit=Clinically insane, potentially on drugs
Opinionated=Loud and obnoxious
Smart=Boring
Cute=In the dark
Independent=Lonely
Bubbly=Stupid
Mature=Old
Now I'm not saying getting with a girl's friends is a terrible thing, it's actually far more practical than paying 20 dollar covers attempting to generate a relationship out of thin air in a venue full of the drunk, horny, and insecure. The best method is to go out with a girl and her friends just for fun. That way you can actually see all her friends and choose who you'd like to pursue. Then you can enlist the help of the girl because wingwomen beat wingmen 9 times out of 10.
Women Can't Tell You What Women Want
You should almost NEVER ask a woman what women look for in a man and expect something good to come of it. The problem is that all women are different and thus like different things. For instance some women say they only date tall guys. However there is a wrinkle here. They'll still date a short guy. Confused? The truth is we have no control over who we end up liking. Asking a woman for advice will not get you the blanket gameplan for seduction you desperately seek. Plus many will give you useless advice like be "nice" or give her flowers and all these other romantic clichés. But then by trying that you'll book yourself a one way ticket to the friend zone. Because those things are what a woman wants in a relationship, not in a guy thats picking her up, because you'll be interpreted as a wimp. The good news though is that there are universal qualities women fall for:
Confidence
Humor
Wealth
Intelligence
Social Skills
Duh, yes, but they're actually achievable if you break them down and take on those qualities. For example, wealth doesn't mean you're rich, though it helps. Wealth just means you seem rich. You dress well, you're confident, you aren't cheap, you don't burst into tears when checking you're account balance, etc. However an ambitious career to a non golddigger is the same as actually having money. Intelligence means you're articulate and can show her new things, not that you're pretentious and constantly talking about Russian literature. Unless she's into that. Confidence is massively vague. Something that I can't do justice with a few lines, so I'll dedicate next week's chick-talk to the topic of confidence. I hope I've helped make the trials of the fairer sex a bit easier.
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