Ian WhiteReview You
October 11th 2006 15:39
If you have ever considered using a dating website to meet someone then you probably know that one of the first steps to getting your details online for someone to select is to write your own profile. It’s kind of like writing a resume but for personal stuff. Basically, you need to include details about yourself that aren't going to make you sound like a dickhead to any girl who may read your profile. You want her to be interested in you – so how do you do that? Lie? Embellish? Even just a little bit? Probably not a good foot to start on if you want any potential relationship to go anywhere.
Describing yourself in a positive way is hard work, without wanting to sound too positive about how great you are. Australians are funny like that - while you know you're pretty great, you should never really tell anyone, because they'll remember it and remind you of it for the rest of your life. Like Don Bradman, stay modest until the end. (If only Anthony Mundine would learn this, people might like him). Its pretty rare that you'll have to actually think about yourself in that way, and it can actually be a bit of an eye-opener. Do you consider yourself good looking? Would you put that in the profile? Do you really know how to describe your interests in a positive way? Are you actually interested in anything that would attract a partner? Would you be attracted to her if she listed her hobbies as Tattoos, Xbox and Drinking? OK, bad example.
I found describing myself physically the hardest part. I know what I look like, but how do I describe me? It turns out that I write up pretty well. Yes, I’m 6ft. (Okay, so Im 5ft 11, shut up about it) Yes, I have Blonde hair and blue eyes, yes I have an athletic build…I sound like a fair dinkum poster boy for clichéd Australians from the 50’s, but the truth is that I’m not that physically attractive. The best I get is called “cute”. I’m ok with it by now, I’m not holding onto any dreams of having a mid-life modeling career take off. But I think that’s the key – be realistic, about yourself and your expectations. There is no point lying - you’ll be found out the minute you meet anyway.
I know what my interests are and some websites have a huge range of “interests” boxes for you to tick off if that’s what you are interested in – it might not cover everything you like doing (taxidermy, jigsaws and pickling vegetables are three notable exceptions) but it does cover a lot of ground. Your interests might only be occasional interests anyway, things that you probably wouldn't include if you had a limited space to write them in, like visiting a jazz club once or twice a year. Describing what you are looking for in a potential partner can be pretty daunting too. Describe in a short paragraph your ideal partner for (potentially) the rest of your life...hmm yeah. Its hard work and if you want to be honest and different and noticeable what do you do? It’s an online Catch-22 and it still follows some of the rules of real life.
You shouldn’t, ever, lie. You can’t look as though you are trying too hard. You don’t want to seem desperate or needy or uncool or anything else bad. It’s good to seem funny, but its all in how they read the profile, not in how you want them to read it. Its hard work – and I’m no closer to really having a clue about it either. I know what hit the right buttons for me in a profile, but I also know that what worked for me worked because a person with the right sense of humour read it. And she could easily have skipped over it if she didn’t like the headline I had written.
Describing yourself in a positive way is hard work, without wanting to sound too positive about how great you are. Australians are funny like that - while you know you're pretty great, you should never really tell anyone, because they'll remember it and remind you of it for the rest of your life. Like Don Bradman, stay modest until the end. (If only Anthony Mundine would learn this, people might like him). Its pretty rare that you'll have to actually think about yourself in that way, and it can actually be a bit of an eye-opener. Do you consider yourself good looking? Would you put that in the profile? Do you really know how to describe your interests in a positive way? Are you actually interested in anything that would attract a partner? Would you be attracted to her if she listed her hobbies as Tattoos, Xbox and Drinking? OK, bad example.
You shouldn’t, ever, lie. You can’t look as though you are trying too hard. You don’t want to seem desperate or needy or uncool or anything else bad. It’s good to seem funny, but its all in how they read the profile, not in how you want them to read it. Its hard work – and I’m no closer to really having a clue about it either. I know what hit the right buttons for me in a profile, but I also know that what worked for me worked because a person with the right sense of humour read it. And she could easily have skipped over it if she didn’t like the headline I had written.
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